choking in Red
by xxcrimson-ninjaxx
Summary: Exploring Reno's indepth emotions, yes Reno has emotions. Mainly concerning how he feels about Midgar, being a Turk, and his co-workers. WARNING dark themes.


Reno had been a Turk for two years now- he thought it was the perfect job. Most of what caused his previous reckless behavior was boredom and now he couldn't find a minute where his mind was not racing. One moment he was investigating a murder, the next he was tracking down a runaway ShinRa executive. While on the job he didn't have time for emotion, his mind was always in fight or flight mode. It was after he had clocked out that his thoughts rushed over him like an acid rain- did that man I killed have kids? A wife? These were the thoughts that were hard to ignore. It was even worse when he felt nothing at all; losing track of how many had perished by his hand. Of course he drank, it was a way to stop the images in his mind from replaying on a consent reel- didn't mind getting a little giggly either. He really enjoyed whisky; some coconut rum when he was feeling tropical. He wasn't a drunk; or at least he didn't think so.

Reno's Partner- Rude, is as nice as they come. He isn't a big talker; in fact few have heard his voice other than Reno. His silence was appreciated though. Reno hated people who couldn't shut their faces; mainly because he was one of those people. Not that many people listened to what he said; all of his co-workers tuned him out the second his lips would start to move thinking all he had to say was pointless babble. He hated this. Because of this few people knew much about him, most of the employs not even knowing his last name. Except for Rude, he was excellent at listening. Rude was pretty funny too, when he did talk- Reno once peed his pants from laughing so hard at one of his jokes.

Reno found himself to be pretty witty as well; even when no one laughed at his jokes. Although being a Turk wasn't all fun and games. Once he put on his Black suit Reno was nothing but serious. It was life or death in this business, and one bad decision could end in the latter. Reno liked that- he enjoyed the rush. Tseng gave him orders; he followed them with a smirk on his face. It's not like he didn't bitch and moan every once and awhile, but most of the time he didn't see the point in complaining. If he did quit, (constantly killing people can mess with your head.) he didn't really have a lot of options in the outside world, he didn't go to college, and he never held a job that required him to be good at numbers or do paper work. That is if he made it to the outside world, Turks who quit their job seemed to magically disappear.

Why did he choose the EMR as a weapon? Well like many things it seemed like a good thing at the time. It's actually not a bad weapon, and alike many of his quirks Reno is quite proud of it. Although there are mere moments while on the field when he wishes he would have picked a gun; then he remembers Cissnei's shuriken, and how she still doesn't know how to throw it and feels a little less sorry for himself.

Reno doesn't have a lot of friends other than Rude. It was always hard for him to make connections of real substance. Everyone just knew him as wise ass Reno, there to make a joke or two but other than that worthless. He guessed no one saw him as a shoulder to cry on, or dependable- just there, so to speak. He never had time to fuss with relationships either. In between work, and drinking, and more work, he really didn't have the time. Plus no one really wanted a relationship with Reno; he was selfish and that kind of selfishness projected a vibe.

When Sephiroth lost his marbles the Turk's job got a lot harder; to say the least. A death here, a death there; it became natural to hear that one of the people who you worked with had returned to the lifestream. Gone forever, blown away like dust in the wind.

Let's not even mention the crap Avalanche gave the Turks; talk about persistent.

There admittedly was a lot of struggle. Not that it mattered when it was over; a little sweat shed, some blood maybe, a death or two- it didn't matter as long you still had a heart that beat and air in your lungs, you went into work the next day and were happy to do so. Well maybe the word to describe the feeling wasn't happy, you just didn't complain.

The meteor hit and the struggle couldn't be reversed, overcome, or just plainly ignored. Everything was destroyed. The survivors now living in an impoverished shadow of the city that once was. ShinRa tower once a place of power and security fallen to rubble. There was talk of rebuilding it between the new President Rufus ShinRa and his executives in Healin Lodge, but even they knew it would take at least ten years.

Reno wasn't sure about his feelings for the new younger President he was now protecting day and night. His first impression of him was that of a power hungry boy in his father's shadow. Now that he had taken the reins as President he had gotten the power he wanted and was of course trying to inflict fear onto every living soul in Midgar.

Although much to his own dislike the young President could not keep his guard up all of the time. Especially not while staying in Healin Lodge in a state of sickness. Every once in awhile Reno would catch Rufus smiling at one of Tseng's jokes; this amused more than the joke it's self. In these tough times entertainment was hard to come by. Missions were few, and the days dragged by slowly. This left Reno with too much time with his thoughts, and when night fall came he was usually found in some slum bar. Usually alone; always while pouring his woes over countless glasses of whiskey.

No matter what had happened in the past it was still Midgar. Maybe out of all of this destruction there would be a new start; like a phoenix that rises out of ashes. These thoughts swirled around in Reno's head every day. But part of him knew that after so much pain, and demolition there could be no 'new start.' No forgive and forget. That same part of him wished that Midgar could be burned in a giant bon-fire- destroying the past, present, and future of the wrenched place.

***Thanks for reading* **

*** Sorry for all the Angst, and dark themes but I've been studying for final exams and that could put anyone in a dark mood.* **

*** Also I tried to stay true to Reno's nature, sorry if I didn't depict Reno as super hyper active as seen in AC but I wanted to give him a depth of emotions that was indeed the point of this fic.* **

***If you are confused by this feel free to read Reno's Testimony Youth Part 1* **


End file.
